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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Future

I'm reading the book "IT" right now. It looks back on the lives of seven kids who have grown up and have to go back and kill the monster basically.

These seven kids all turn out ridiculously successful.

I remember being a kid and thinking that it would somehow just be easy to be rich and have a great car and an awesome house.

Hahahahaha. Yeah.

It takes work. Hard work.

And planning.

And even then, you still might not make it.

I've gone to college four times. The first time was right after high school to the tech college. I dropped out. Baby to take care of, bills to pay... I said it's too much at once and I just kept on working. I had two jobs, at two different pizza places.

Then when my daughter started kindergarten I went back. I graduated with an Associate Degree in the health care field. I liked what I did but it was a fairly physical job. With my back being in so much pain daily, I knew it wouldn't be something I could continue.

So I went back again. Another Associates Degree and again in healthcare. I love Love LOVE LOVE what I do. And for the most part, I can handle the back pain and it doesn't make it much worse.

I went a fourth time to get a four year degree but with a divorce and paying the bills alone I chose to wait. Then I met a wonderful guy and we decided to have a baby. I knew that having a baby would mean I would likely not go back to college at all for that four year degree. And I'm okay with that- because I LOVE what I do.

I made plans as a kid. Lots of plans.

My future isn't what I planned when I was in sixth grade, if it were I'd be the first woman president pretty soon.

And it's not what I planned in middle school, if it were I'd be chumming with Stephen Hawking as an astrophysicist.

And it's not what I planned in high school, if it were, I'd be a chemist.

And even in adulthood, I planned to go back and maybe be a doctor someday. Though, I changed that plan when deciding to have another baby.

My plans for my future are not at all what it looks like today, but without those plans, I don't know where I'd be. The plans, even the ones that are crazy and rediculous, are the plans that kept me motivated and steered me this direction. Each "failed" plan isn't really a failure. It's a modification and alteration of how I view the world and myself. If we didn't grow and change, what point would there be for us to be anything but big toddlers?

My today is not the future I'd planned for myself pretty much at all... it's better. And I'm glad for all the people in my life and the experiences that have made me who I am today.

Even today, I still plan for my future. I like to look ahead and know that there is hope in my life for all the things I want to do. Without that hope for a future, I can imagine it would be a very depressing existence.

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